when something is for you
it will not run or hide or
avoid being yours.
– From Alexandra Elle’s Neon Soul
First of all, I would like to say that what this poem suggests, and statements along the lines of “what is meant for you will always find a way”, have helped me let go and accept a lot of situations in my life while adapting to adulthood. However, when I read this poem in a bookstore, on a day where I felt perfectly content with being alone I thought of three things that problematize my initial take on these kinds of statements.
The Three Things were: Belonging to Others, “The Right Time”, and How Time Changes Belonging.
“but what if I belong to them?”
The past four years I have eased the pain of my unrequited love situations by reminding myself of the reality of the situation and what it may mean on a spiritual level. “He doesn’t belong to me” or like it is discussed in the movie He’s Just Not That Into You – “If they want to be with you, they will make it happen”. But, identifying these unrequited love situations or more generally, missed opportunities as a way of belonging to something or someone made me think – “but what if I belong to them?”.
It hurts when we miss out on an opportunity or relationship because we feel like we belong there. That that path is meant for us, in that moment we belong to them but they don’t belong to us.
My experience in this way if it wasn’t obvious already is in the form of a relationship. A dude came along that I felt connected to, I felt strangely loyal to him even though he gave me no reason to. So I told myself, he must not belong to me, he must not be for me. But after 3 years of not shaking this feeling I began to think, But what If I’m for him? After diving deeper into my spirituality I figured that my feelings must be here for a reason, perhaps I’m here, feeling these feelings to teach him a lesson at the very least.This also branches off in what I have to say about not necessarily giving up on our dream opportunities and relationships. Maybe I belonged to him. I wasn’t hiding, I wasn’t avoiding being
This also branches off in what I have to say about not necessarily giving up on our dream opportunities and relationships. Maybe I belonged to him. I wasn’t hiding, I wasn’t avoiding being his, I believe I was there, I was “his” because there was a lesson, for me and him.
This poem got me thinking about some of the mysteries and cliches of the universe.
Within the past few years, I have come to rely on the idea that the universe provides for us and gives us all the abundance we seek. When being faced with disappointment, or our hopeful fantasies are turned sour I remind myself that “missed opportunities are things that really didn’t belong to me”,”what is meant for me will come to me”. Yet also,
“What is meant for me will come to me in its own time“
Just because an opportunity or experience passes by does not mean it will never return again. Sometimes these mantras of “What belongs to me won’t avoid being mine” makes us think negatively about that experience or person assuming the need to cut ties to that hope and never think about it again. The initial meaning is very strong and useful, we shouldn’t dwell on missed opportunities and continue on to become the best version of ourselves. Yet, we should keep in mind to welcome those old opportunities back will be and acceptance, not bitterness for their previous rejection. When an opportunity passes me by I like to think of there being a leash connecting me to that opportunity, I’m letting it wander for as long as it wants and it is always welcome back. Thinking about lost opportunities or belongings in this way enforces a positive manifestation thought cycle that will allow it to come to you in an even better way.
However, if this idea of belonging is a love, it is important to remember that belonging may not be forever. These things come and go to teach us lessons and help us grow. If a love runs or passes you by they may no longer belong to you but the lesson does. Embrace it, feel it and it will make you grow stronger for the next opportunity that comes to you. Belonging is not forever.
a lot of what I say is still problematic for me – do you really wanna dwell and not move on completely? and yes I see where things can be counter-intuitive. I ultimately am saying that we all need to find a balance with accepting and letting go of our opportunities. The ones that feel so right to you after time, and space – keep holding them with positive and loving thoughts in your mind eventually what is not meant for you will disappear from your mind… but what is meant to be may linger longer and it is important to not be sad about those thoughts but keep up with “one day maybe if it’s really right”.