sometimes I feel myself get irritated and i don’t know why,
today it occurred to me that one source of my irritation may be coming from when people discuss me or my life.

Like today my sister texted me something that made me aware that she was probably discussing my situation with a parent. She also made me kick my kinda friend off of our Netflix account which put me in an awkward situation.

that’s why i do not like dealing with my family to often, they always try to make me do certain things or feel certain ways that actually kind fuck up the groove and energy i may actually be in. Sometimes i have great experiences and conversations with my family but ultimately i cant spend a few days with them without not feeling completely myself so scared about the future. Most of my family, my mom and my sister think very realistically, money oriented and practical when i feel it out assume things will happen regardless of if i have the money because i believe the universe gives me what ever i need. I don’t stress. But they think i do, or think i should.. they put their preconceived notions of how the world should work on me when in my world there arent solid rules to how the world works. the world just moves.


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