January, aka the test run for #newyearnew me was pretty great. Not because I did everything perfectly or completed all of my goals (which I did not) but because of the extra stuff that happened on the way and the gratitude these little surprises gave me for the universe and the energy I’m creating around me

So to start with, I began to make small changes to my daily routine, like working out at least five times a week – short workouts sometimes just 30 minutes of yoga- as well as meditating afterward or before bed. I originally didn’t think these additions would have such an effect on my body so quickly but I have lost five pounds this month and I just feel so much more confidernt and present.

Big changes have happened in the last week of January, and these changes are kind sad and terrible but so so great at the same time because they welcome in the new phase of my life that I have been waiting for so long to happen.

The first thing that changed is that an old friend that i have had on and off since highschool has offically eneded our friendship. This was a friendship that i have struggled with since high school and by now I thought we under stood each other well enough and have foregiven eachother for our differences so many times before that we were used to it and understood that we would always be friends anyways. Turns out my friend had a change of heart and needs a different kind of friendship ( a codependent kind of affectionate happy friendship) that I am not willing to give ( bc it would radically change my life nd the way i think). My friend, K is head strong and stubborn, she tends to believe she is right in most ways of htinking and if you go agaisnt her opinions simply because you believe something different, she gets agitated, and angry at you – but it’s just your opinion- and its feels so wrong. We’ve decided to not be friends. However because of mutual friends and a current game of Dungeons and Dragons still see each other and are nice and have fun bc of no pressure from other expectations of each other.

This change in my life led me to reach out to other friends who do get me on that level that K no longer does. I have realized how many good people i have in my life and getting rid of one problematic one has opened up some space to properly care for the good ones in my life a little bit more.

The second and most important big change is that I lost my virginity. It’s kind of a big deal because ever since I was like 13 I  was that typical girl who loved boys and wanted attention from them but was shy so would only obsess over celebrity boys my age. This topic deserves its own blog post but in terms of it bring in on change…
Finally having sex allows me to not focus on the fact that i haven’t had sex yet. Which in the past 3 years has been a pretty big distraction because i was constantly concerned with when i would loose it or if certain boys liked me. Now that it is not as much of an issues and i can focus mroe on myself and the work i need to do rather that if The Dude will have sex with me this comming weekend.

I feel like i wanna say more but no one reads this but me anyways so


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